legalacidity's musings


The Curse Continues; Mascots Play Basketball (Film at Eleven)

Yep, the curse is still alive and strong. Duke lost to Georgia Tech last night not because they played with very little energy, or turned the ball over too much, or didn't play good help defense; no, Duke lost because I went to the game. Every time I've gone and see Duke play in person OR had a chance to see them play (like in the NCAA Tournament when I have had Sweet Sixteen tickets and they get knocked out in the first or second round), Duke has lost. I think the count is now holding steady at 7, but I can't be sure because I didn't start keeping count until a couple of years ago. At any rate, if you hate Duke and want them to lose a certain game, you can provide me with tickets and then bet your retirement fund on a Duke loss. It's got to turn around someday, right? Right?!?

The loss aside, it was a fun trip. The wife and I were treated at halftime to the "2007 Annual Mascot Challenge," which consisted of two five-mascot teams playing each other in a game of basketball. Full court basketball, mind you. The mascots included the Atlanta Thrasher mascot (whose appearance may actually give me nightmares), the Braves "Homer" mascot, the Chic-Fil-A cow (who was a staggering two feet taller than the rest of the mascots and yet had no rebounds), several other odd looking mascots (a dragonfly of some sort, a polar bear, etc.), and my personal favorite, Kroger's "K-Roger," who looked like the offspring of an unholy Bert/Ernie and Carlton from Fresh Prince drunken hookup.

The mascots played a timed, three minute period with the Georgia Tech "Buzz" mascot as the ref. Neither team ever scored, although K-Roger wasn't shy about chucking up threes from all over the court. One of the polar bear's feet kept falling off, and that no doubt terrified any small children in attendance. The Chic-Fil-A cow kept trying to post up but since K-Roger and the Thrasher did nothing but shoot three pointers from half court, he couldn't get his inside game established.

As the seconds ticked away, the game turned into an almost brawl as the bigger mascots would walk up a smaller mascot who had the ball and simply tackle them and steal the ball. Curiously, Buzz the Ref never called any fouls. There was one mascot that I assume was supposed to be the Atlanta Hawks' mascot that was a pretty good ballhandler (likely because he didn't have huge, oversized hands that impeded his ability to dribble), but every pass he through sailed out of bounds or off of the gianormous heads of the other mascots.

Another thing we were treated to was another asinine display of every Jumbotron operator's favorite thing to do at a sporting event: the "Kiss Cam." I hate the Kiss Cam. I don't care about watching two ugly people kiss on a giant video screen. Most people they show go from "Hey, I'm at a basketball game, and I'm happy with my surroundings" to "Hey, this really sucks, I want to go home, I wish the camera would explode I'm so uncomfortable" within one second of realizing that they are on the Jumbotron. Why do that to people? It made me uncomfortable watching other people's lack of comfort on the video screen. It also doesn't help that they were playing the country song "This Kiss" at about 147 decibels. I'm pretty sure Homeland Security responded, thinking that some sort of terrorist attack had occurred using a new weapon that involved deafening thousands of people with a God-awful country song.

But hey, it wasn't all bad--it's not every day you get to see a full five-on-five, full court basketball game involving nothing but mascots.

12:10 p.m. - 2007-01-11

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The Hypocrisy of ESPN

Yeah, so it's been awhile. Graduating, getting a job, having your first trial--it'll kill a blog. Sorry about that.

All that being said, I just had to respond to Pat Forde of Although it shouldn't surprise me, I was actually taken aback at the extreme stances taken by pretty much everyone affiliated with ESPN regarding Nick Saban's acceptance of Alabama's head coaching position. If you believe ESPN, Saban is the Antichrist, Alabama is hell, and the coaching profession as we know it has been ruined.

I think from now on I'll be getting my news from At least they seem to have a neutral tone in their articles.

I tried to email Forde, but his email inbox was full. What a shock.

My response to Pat Forde:

"Saban lying? Not hardly. What did you expect him to do? You and I both know that if he had done what you wanted, issued the standard "no comment," that you and every other NFL & college sports media type would have jumped all over him, saying that he was distracting his team and not fully focusing on his job because he wouldn't issue an outright lie.

His only other option would have been to say, "Alabama job? Why heck yeah I'd love to coach there!!!" Not viable.

The hypocrisy that you and other ESPN talking heads exhibit is absurd. Would you tell the media that you were considering a jump to Fox Sports if you were considering it? I think not.

In my opinion, Saban handled it the only way he could--he refused to talk to Alabama or even think about the position until after the Dolphins season was done. At his press conference on Monday, he issued your favored "no comment." Why? Because he was finally giving his thought to taking the job. When he met with Huizenga this morning, he told him that he'd made a commitment to him and that if Huizenga wanted him to stay, he would. Huizenga told him to follow his heart and go to Alabama.

I know that you can't fully grasp the concept of an NFL coach leaving an NFL team to go coach in the college ranks, but give Saban his due. He gave it a shot, hated it, and wanted to go back to doing what he loved: coaching college football. Saban's not in the same class as an Erickson, or Franchione, or Tuberville, because he handled it the way that was right for his situation.

Oh, and by the way, the high horse rider called, and he wants his high horse back.


8:25 p.m. - 2007-01-03

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previous - next

Here from a Google search? Check out my archives.

New Site - 2008-05-24

Kyle Busch is Garbage - 2008-05-03

On Bissinger and Leitch - 2008-04-30

Chad Johnson is a Doofus - 2008-04-03

Thoughts on the NCAA Tournament in Birmingham - 2008-03-25

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