legalacidity's musings


Michael Irvin is a World Class Idiot

Absolute absurdity. Illogical ludicrousity. Fantastical, blithering rhetoric. Yes, I realize that at least one of the previous words is not a word, but that's the state I'm in. I almost tried to dive through my television last night, and while I'm glad I didn't, because I like my television, I really wish I would have.

The incident I'm speaking of is the "Open Mike" segment of ESPN's Sportscenter last night. It invloves esteemed former NFL coach Mike Ditka squaring off against barely-esteemed former NFL receiver Michael Irvin. Hence the name of the segment. The topic was the Philadelphia Eagles' handling of self-absorbed crybaby Terrell Owens. Ditka fully agreed with the Eagles' position and even said that he would have never even brought Owens to his team because he knows what kind of guy he is; Irvin thought that this was ridiculous. Irvin spent his time discussing how Owens had "spoken with his pastor" and was "hoping for the best," which made it sound like Owens' wife (he's not married) had gone missing or Owens had been diagnosed with a fatal disease. Not the case. Irvin is steadily building a reputation as a talking head who will always, no matter what, defend the position of the minority football player, whether they deserve it or not. You would be hard pressed to find any sports fan in America, no matter their ethnicity, who would defend Owens and his actions; but, Irvin will stick with him, no matter what. It's ridiculous.

Owens has spent this season complaining about his quarterback (saying that with Brett Favre the Eagles would probably be undefeated, which was an idea first floated by World Class Idiot Michael Irvin), complaining about the Eagles organization not recognizing his 100th touchdown reception (the Eagles apparently don't recognize any team member's individual accomplishments--they're have more of a "team first" view), and loudly complaining about "respect" and the size of his contract. His contract pays him millions of dollars, but not what he thinks he is worth. He signed the contract last year and was plenty happy with it then. Now? Not so much.

The fact is that Owens is a 31-year-old child in the body of a reception and touchdown machine. If he could get his head straight, he could eventually be one of the best receivers to ever play the game. The problem is that I don't think that will ever happen--he's too self-absorbed, too selfish, and simply too damned stupid to realize which battles to fight and which to let slide. He's the same guy who, while playing for San Francisco, openly questioned the sexuality of his quarterback, Jeff Garcia, who was (and I think still is) dating a Playboy centerfold. Gee, Terrell; doubt he's gay. Owens did the same type of thing to Donovan McNabb, by agreeing with World Class Idiot Michael Irvin that if Favre had been at QB for the Eagles, they would have been better off because Favre "plays hurt" and "through pain" and that the team would "probably" be undefeated. You know, if I were a receiver, the last thing I would be doing is publicly running down my QB if I wanted him to throw me the ball. Not smart. McNabb did throw a barb in there on Sunday, pointing out that the Packers, with Favre, are 1-7 while the Eagles are 4-4. Nice.

It's a shame, but Michael Irvin has singlehandedly forced me to tune out of all ESPN broadcasts that feature him. This means their Sunday NFL preview shows are out, and my finger will be on the channel button in case his vortex of insanity pops up in a segment about the NFL. He's an idiot, always has been, and always will be. It's a shame that the best ESPN could do is a formerly-coked out wide receiver who's grand contribution to commentary is that he always takes the side of the player who has completely screwed up. In some ways, he and Terrell deserve each other. Hell, maybe that's the only way they can both be happy: sitting around and telling stories about how great they are/were and how no one understands them. Check that; it would probably end up as a reality show, and then I would have to machine-gun my television if I ever saw it, and I like my television. Maybe I just need to keep it turned off.

5:12 p.m. - 2005-11-08

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