legalacidity's musings


Why is Everyone Always Late to a Movie?

Whew. What a week it was. You see, I took the plunge this past Saturday and got married to the now Mrs. LegalAcidity. As one who often dwells on the negatives, and obsesses about the possibilities of something going wrong, I couldn't have asked for a better weekend. Everything went as perfect as it possibly could have--the rehearsal, rehearsal dinner, and the wedding day itself. The Columbus Marriott outdid themselves service-wise and really took care of all who stayed there. A truly great weekend. And next week we get to do the honeymoon thing, so hopefully that will go as planned as well.

The wife and I went to see a movie Sunday afternoon, to sort of unwind from the hectic past weeks that led up to the wedding, and one of my pet peeves was on major display. For some reason, our society has found it completely impossible to be on time for anything. The movie started at 5:00 p.m. Well, actually, the previews started then, and the actual movie started about twenty minutes or so later. The thing that bothered me the most was the inordinate amount of people who kept coming in well after five o'clock, and it wasn't just one demographic that was doing it. There were old couples, young couples, groups of high school kids, families, you name it. All races, all nationalities, all backgrounds. It was ridiculous! I have no idea why people simply cannot force themselves to somehow make it to a movie on time; the newspaper had the correct starting time, the movie chain's website had the correct starting time, Fandango had the correct starting time, etc. It's not like people don't have the tools at hand to know what time it is--every cell phone in existence has a clock on it. For some reason, it's like people just don't care anymore. It's incredibly disruptive, especially if all of the previews have ended and the movie has actually started to run. (Even though the movie was King Kong, and let's be honest: even though this movie got great reviews, it just isn't that good of a movie. The special effects were dazzling, but the plot? Yech. And Jack Black? Stick to comedic roles, buddy. You're not ready for drama just yet, my friend.)

Another thing that bothers me about going to see a movie is that invariably, no matter how empty a theater is, someone will always come in and sit RIGHT in front of you. Usually, as was the case on Sunday, it is a family of five, with children too young to even know what the hell is going on. Another thing is that King Kong is not the place to take your five-year-old because some of the scenes are likely to cause extensive therapy bills later in life. King Kong isn't a kid flick, and it's rated PG-13 for a reason. During the movie, the mom had to take out the youngest kid because she appeared to become terrified by the natives of Skull Island chopping off the heads of captured members of the crew. Not kid stuff by a long shot. When the mom returned, kid in tow, the little girl said something along the lines of "Did King Kong get them?" As the wife said, it was kind of cute, but it won't be very cute to mommy and daddy when the little girl wakes up crying at three in the morning because she had a nightmare about crazy natives decapitating helpless victims (or when the therapy bills start rolling in).

Just some advice, from me: when you go to a movie, don't sit right in front, or behind, or next to someone who was smart enough to get there earlier than you. There are hundreds of seats in the theater for a reason. If the place is packed, like on opening weekend, then sometimes you'll have to sit right near someone; that's fine, in those situations. But if there are only two people in the entire place, find somewhere else to sit. Please. Also, if you really want to go see a movie, find a damned babysitter and leave the kids at home, unless you're going to see some Disney flick about unicorns. Trust me. You'll make everyone else, including yourself, much happier.

3:00 p.m. - 2005-12-20

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