legalacidity's musings


Cause & Effect

College bars are the best. Not best as in "clean," nor "upscale," but just the best. The best thing about college bars with regard to poor college students are drink specials. Instead of having to drive to, say, New Orleans (which isn't really there anymore) to get some ridiculous three-for-one beer special, all you need to do is find a college town and drink up. I don't mean a major city with a college in it; I mean a major college in a town, village, etc. Think Tuscaloosa (University of Alabama), my home. Or Auburn. Or Athens. Or wherever the heck Washington State is located (I've heard it's a bazillion miles from anywhere, and former Coach Mike Price always made the college bar scene). Walk into a bar at any of these places on a random Thursday evening and drink to your heart's content on a puny student income.

But I digress. I think the best thing about college bars are just the simple atmospheric conditions that seem to surround them to where anything can happen. It's like each bar is it's own little dimension, like that island from 'Lost,' where you never know what's going to happen.

This most recent Thursday night I was sitting outside with some buddies at the number one college sports bar in the nation (as ranked by Sports Illustrated), The Houndstooth. (Another great thing about college bars--more outdoor patios per bar than any other type of bar). We were enjoying $3 Bud Light pitchers ($3 pitchers at The Houndstooth, all day, every day, except game days, when the place turns into an over-40 social and as such the drink prices go up). The Houndstooth is located on The Strip, a three block long stretch of road just off campus that is loaded with bars, restaurants, the obligatory Alabama clothing store, etc. We're busy into a discussion of my own personal "Black Sunday," (another story, another time) when I notice a rather attractive woman in her late 20s come bolting out of the door of the Mexican restaurant across the street. Close behind her is who I assume to be her boyfriend/husband/gay friend, carrying her coat and purse. Before I can form an opinion of whether or not she's running from him, she just stops and pukes all over the sidewalk.


The best part was the busboys, a little while later, washing down the sidewalk with five gallon buckets of water to eradicate the toxic spewage from the woman. Great stuff.

Another thing you can do is people watch, especially taking note of what girls are wearing. I'll spare you the obligatory rant on girls wearing rain boots in perfectly dry weather; that's already been covered by a buddy of mine--read it here:

Sad State of Women's Fashion

But, I do have one thing to say: Why in the hell do people, especially women, wear clothes that DO NOT FIT??? Why, GOD, why?? There was one girl walking around wearing a pink blouse/shirt/thing that A) Didn't cover her gut and B) DIDN'T COVER HER ENORMOUS GUT. Why? If you're going to kick it at the trailer, that's fine, but don't object the rest of us to having to catch a fleeting glimpse of your bloated stomach.

Come to think of it, BigGut McShortShirt did come out of the same Mexican restaurant as Vomiting McSideWalkGirl, so maybe she just caught site of Shamu and let loose. Cause and effect? Sounds plausible to me.

4:05 p.m. - 2005-09-24

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